So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
