I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
