we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
