This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
