I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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