No stitches, just platelets and will power
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
