its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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