The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
