Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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