theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
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