I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
