i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
