Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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