I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
