it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
be right there i have to get my cape
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
