I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
