he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
