Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
