if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
