K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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