As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
