giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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