They should really pass out barf bags in church
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
