I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
