6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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