I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize