handjob tips. give me some.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
