I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
