boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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