I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
