god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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