her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
birth control should be required to get into college
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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