Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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