I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
