Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Green mimosas i think yes
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
