I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
