i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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