well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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