Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
