How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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