so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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