You work out of a Hotel?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
