summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
