dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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