I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
