Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
