You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
