Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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