I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
