So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
